I cockslap morals
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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