I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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