I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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