so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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