Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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