I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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