it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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