Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize