kristin has been a bad kristin
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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