Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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