I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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