I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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