She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize