I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize