No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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