i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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