You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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