in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
