Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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