I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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