He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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