Cold hands, warm shart.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize