I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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