Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".

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(951): Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try". http://tfl.nu/107g

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(207): View more from Maine

Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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(207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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(513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35

Replies (20) Good night (6265) Bad night (1044)
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(702): View more from Nevada

is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?

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(702): is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/ood9

Replies (23) Good night (3708) Bad night (1402) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

everybody makes mistakes

(1-630): View more from Illinois

i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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(630): everybody makes mistakes (1-630): i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances http://tfl.nu/cihb

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

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(814): This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left. http://tfl.nu/p749

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(248): View more from Michigan

How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.

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(248): How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/a52b

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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(978): I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine. http://tfl.nu/o5fg

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours

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(609): my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours http://tfl.nu/c2a1

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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(314): I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario http://tfl.nu/9b6y

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.

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(919): Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home. http://tfl.nu/79vz

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?

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(978): By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner? http://tfl.nu/55b6

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(770): View more from Georgia

I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily

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(770): I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily http://tfl.nu/jbfr

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

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(307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm

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(719): View more from Colorado

The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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(719): The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies. http://tfl.nu/1axa

Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (86)

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