i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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