After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Drunk is a universal language darling
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize