I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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