Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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