Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
