he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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