just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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