I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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