she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize