I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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