VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
