I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
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St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
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Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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