so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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