They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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