Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we're so committed to being not committed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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