I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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