Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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