and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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