i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize