Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That's when you crack a 10am beer
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize