I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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