It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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