Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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