Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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