if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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