3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize